Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize