What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I would fuck him just for his dog
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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