im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I love how my cats smell like pot.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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