weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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