I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
