I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
