butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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