lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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