he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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