I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
