no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Randomize
