No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
