i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
