It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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