Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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