i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
