too bad you live with your parents still
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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