I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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