I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
