Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I currently don't understand fingers.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize