fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
