That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
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I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
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How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?