i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.