Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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