her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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