Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize