this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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