yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
