I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
