yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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