You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
