Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
