The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
