singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
