i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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