I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
