So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
