Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
