i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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