thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
