This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I need help removing her.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
