Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Randomize
