she looked like the bat from fern gully.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
