i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
