I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
