Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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