i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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