It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
