You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
