the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
