Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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