i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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