you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
