dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
