I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize