obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
God, I missed his penis.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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