I wannas sexs uuuuu
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
