Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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