no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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