you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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