Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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