I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
