seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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