I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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