We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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