think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
